Since I wrote the last post, I couldn’t stop thinking about that common saying about ‘making time for your passions’ or ‘if you truly wanted to accomplish that thing, you’d make time’. That’s something that has echoed in my mind for the better part of my life. And it’s been spoken to me by countless people. I definitely think it’s true, to an extent. But it can also be damaging.

I’m definitely guilty of prioritizing my writing far below most everything else I wanted to accomplish, but whenever I think about what I want to do for the rest of my life, writing instantly comes to mind. I know that it’s what I want to do. My dream is to share stories with people. So when I hear “if you truly wanted to be a writer, you’d sacrifice all your free time to accomplish that”, it just makes me feel like a fraud, like I’ve been lying to everyone around me. It makes me feel like what people see of me is that I’m only pretending to be a writer so that others will think I’m interesting. And I find that I get that tossed in my face quite a lot, whenever I talk about wanting more time to accomplish my dreams of writing. And then I start believing it. Maybe I don’t want it bad enough. Maybe I am just a fraud. Maybe I should just give up.

And then I get mixed messages, because other people say that you should ‘take time for yourself’ because ‘a balanced life is healthy and more productive’. So which is it then? Do I spend every waking moment working tirelessly toward my dream to prove that it’s actually something I want? Or do I take time to play games, be with loved ones, walk in nature? Who’s right and who’s wrong?

Personally, I’ll never tell someone that they aren’t truly a creator if they aren’t devoting all their free time to accomplishing that. I’ll tell them that they need to do what works for them, but they absolutely need to do something. If you don’t take a step, you’ll never climb that mountain.

And for everyone out there who ever told me I wasn’t a real writer because I didn’t spend all my free time on it, to every article writer who detailed that real authors sacrifice absolutely everything to accomplish their dreams, thanks for nothing. You didn’t motivate me, you demoralized me.

 

Categories: Life

Lopi

Lopi is a software engineer turned author, or more accurately an author who masqueraded as a software engineer for ten years. He's currently writing a series of fantasy novels as well as a fantasy graphic novel with the (far too) talented (for him) artist Audra Auclair.

4 Comments

WillowLeifs · 2017-09-15 at 11:06 pm

I completely understand this, in fact it hits me hard because I’m struggling to get my work or focus on it despite I love what I do to the extent that I would never dream of doing anything but the very thing I ignore. But hey, I guess sometimes that worry sometimes pushes you to make an action. I know one does feel like they’re being unfair to their passion, I know I feel like a fraud all the time- basically as an artist I’m inspired by people posting art on social media and know that it’s my responsibility to my work to show to my audience but I always feel insecure or I guess not really ready. Idk, I guess time or my gut feeling will motivate hopefully me to post more
I do hope time or something big will hopefully motivate you further, so far you’re doing a good job in making a website and slowly posting. Every small step matters
Hugs to you and Audra and cats 💟💟💟

    Lopi · 2017-09-17 at 5:09 pm

    I’ve noticed that, now that I’ve begun posting my writing and making blog entries, it gets easier to post those things. I’m always so concerned with making sure everything is perfect, that people will actually find what I write (stories OR blog posts) interesting. I have several abandoned blog post drafts just sitting here because I feel like they wouldn’t be interesting, or that I wouldn’t be able to write them out perfectly enough. It’s the same as with your art. I don’t think you should feel that you’re falling short of your ‘responsibility’ to your work, just because you’re not showing it to your audience. Audra has a LOT that she doesn’t post online, and that’s totally okay.

Ihaznoname · 2017-09-04 at 2:16 pm

Thank you, I needed that today…
I consider myself an artist, but I’m struggling a lot at the moment and don’t paint nearly as much as I’d want to. This is mostly due to mental and physical issues… I have been told by multiple people that, if I were a “real” artist, I’d just do it, overcome all my problems und “truly” pursue my dreams. But it just doesn’t work that way. Those people are not doing anything good with what they say. You said those comments made you feel like a fraud and they make me (and probably many others) feel like that, too. But I’m pretty sure neither of us are a fraud 🙂 Everyone has to follow their dreams in their very own way, however it works for them. I really hope for you that you don’t let those people demoralize you too much. Also I wish you and Audra the best for your future 🙂 You guys rock!

    Lopi · 2017-09-04 at 5:56 pm

    I’m really relieved I’m not the only one who feels like that, but I’m also really sad that you have to feel that. I can promise you, you’re not a fraud. If you are making art, you are definitely a REAL artist. If you ever need to be reminded of that, just let me know and I will absolutely reiterate that.

    Also, you need to be careful with the types of names you enter on things like this. You entered “Ihaznoname”, which, once entered, became your name, violating universal laws of physics and puncturing a hole in the spacetime continuum. I applied a patch, though, using advanced string theory and general relativity superimposed in the multiverse dimensional stream. Just be careful in the future.

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